We survived first Xmas without Mika, together. Now, back from Valdemarsvik. Thank you Hedwig!
We lit an angelic candle for Mika today at 3pm. We miss you so much! Barely survived the first Christmas Eve without him. Fighting to get life going on.
Spending Xmas with Jippii, Hedwig and the cats.
I guess it comes as a reaction to upcoming Christmas, but suffer strong sorrow attacks these days. Today was awful. I miss you so damn much, Mika! Life is not the same with you here. Guess we just have to suffer thru, and let life go on in one direction or another.
More than two weeks off. Of reasons. I did an inventory on dates to fill in with retrospective blogging. I want every day of the year reflected in retrospect, where I did not do the Lullaby Blogging. There is something special with daily blogging. A journal, leaving memories where they are. Fragments of life, where the little can express much. Image and text. And also an exercise in writing, creating, discipline and focus! I need it! So, with that said – beginning tomorrow! Aiming to cover all the gaps before closing the book of 2019 – the most Lovely and…
At ProNova, Norrköping. Beautiful! Earlier that morning we also attended the Lucia celebration at Nektarinen, Mika’s pre-school.
Yesterday it came into place – our family headstone. I had a strong peak in sorrow pain today. Getting so manifested … We are satisfied with the stone. Pink/black/grey tiger stripey, made of what is called Hallandia. Two bronze birds – one looking down, one looking up. Minimalist text. ABRAHAMSSON. Mika.
We visited the grave, Nov 26. It turned out to be the last time with the temporary iron cross with his name. Dark is the sorrow. Green is the hope. Grass growing. Life changing. A day with one of the most tired and exhausted feelings in a very long time. Hence, retrospective blogging.
When we had our Mika Memorial and Bye Bye the 29th of August, Grandma Hedwig ended the ceremony with a baloon rising up in the air, with signatures on a photo of Mika from all of us attending. The Funeral Bureau had two extra baloons, just in case, and we got one of them home. It has been high up in our living room ever since. The other day I wondered when the helium would leave enough for it to sink. It happened yesterday! Mika, we felt, played around with it for a while, up … down … aside ……
Our Guardian Cat On-Top-Our-Herd-Hierarchy Soto (born/register name Pinkalicius’ Pralin, Holy Birman) turns five years today! Two photo stories getting Soto in a Nutshell! First – drinking water. Then! What moves? Another cat! Bam! Gone into the dark! Who is in the Kitchen? Next, also from bedtime – literally! When I’ve done my teeth brushing and other go-to-bed preparations, entering bedroom. Soto with a sharp eye on me! Then – when we have found to be still and calm for a while. Enter middle! But leaning on Mother Karin, since Birmans usually lean on loyalty towards one in the first place….
Nadine and me. Mika and me. … and all three of us together! The Birthday Photo. Mika. I miss you like crazy. Nadine. See you soon again. Mika. Nadine. I love you forever! And yes. Soto. Uchi. Deshi. Thank you for supporting us in our grief and emptiness! I love you too!