Night time here. After a day with stuff happening, the darkness and emptiness is like mental terror. Coping, coping, coping!
Phonecalls. The child psychologist. Memorial Service and Funeral related stuff. Library to turn back his last loan and tell what happened to two of the key personell there at the desk. A state of shock, transferred every time. One other at our local grocery store talking about it. THE THING THAT SHOULD NOT HAPPEN!
We went to the Worker’s Museum, meeting a close friend who will take a central part of the musical part of the ceremony who were with her family in the Creative Workshop for kids, picking up the last making of Mika. Synch. Deep. Long. Hug! Coming home, talking to the counselor at the hospital on the phone.
Dinner. First one Karin did alone beyond.
And talking to the priest in the night leading the ceremony. Meeting Saturday.
Outbursts of screaming pain, Anxiety at highest level.
What to do? I took a run to the outdoor gym in the Vrinnevi Forest. Anxiety level dropped after a firsties session there. Think it will be a place to get out all anger, sorrow and frustration.
Right now, Karin and I have no clue how to fix this. The Mussing had catched up on us like crazy. At day it is like one day at a time, but in the night, in bed, without his warming comfort, it strikes us again. Then, one breath at a time.
Hold on. Hold tight! Keep strong!
Sleep, come! Sleep, come!