— So, eight years ago, a little wonderboy was born. And now, he’s gone. Our little wonderboy! How you survive such stuff? Don’t ask. We just do. I’ve restored my power to create and joy of life. But when the pain hits, it hits like hell. Not staying that long as it used to. And memories of joy can be restored. With melancholy. Yes, reaching far in the tough work called “sorrow”. In my multi-traumatic life, surviving PTSD and living with back and forth with anxiety to levels of the unbearable sometimes, I have fully returned to pursue and…
Today we gave honour to Mika, one year after he left us for The Otherworld. We took a fika at his grave. Added a bouquet, and opened a “Kinderägg Surprajs” as he used to say. A little elephant! A symbol as such – the wise elephant with the strong memory. Always remembering our little boy! An elephant was also on the shirt he had when he passed away. Coming home, we got a message from our medium that he wanted ice cream, meringue and chocolate, and some balloons. So be it! Here is the last image of him conscious. His…
Five birthday photos. Four with Mika alive. What was intended as a tradition, was broken. My annual birthday photo with my kids. And, with Mika in The Otherworld, and with Nadine home in Norway due to covid-19 restrictions, this had to be the way instead. My kids, framed. Mika as a four year old from June 6, 2019, and Nadine when she was five from Spring 2012. It was a great day anyways, eating at a restaurant a meal with three small dishes, and afterwards going to the Carl Johan Park for an ice-cream! Thank you Karin!
Our Hero, born 10.19, May 28, 2015, turning Angel 11.34, Aug 1, 2019, was honoured today. We went to the grave and added some flowers – one rose for Nadine, Karin and me, respectively – and new oil lights. Then we went home and had cake and lit the five year candle, with the five year baloon in the air. Hedwig and Jippii was here today as well, and we watched the photos from the Mika memorial and bye-bye. A big check box ticked, in this painful work that sorrow gives us. Moving on. Mika – I <3 U 4EVAH!
Return Of The Mika Photo Sent By Baloon At The End Of The Memorial In August! | #MikaMemorial #MikaTheAngel
We got a letter containing the picture with Mika on, that Hedwig made for sending up in the air with a big balloon at the end of the Mika Memorial and Bye Bye 29th of August, 2019! With all the signatures from the participants. It was found near the lake Viggaren in Katrineholms municipality, 34 km north of Norrköping. The nice person who found it in the deepest of forests was kind enough to send a map and a picture from the exact spot it was found! Felt like a piece of Mika returned to our lives, only for some…
At 11.34, 1st of August, Mika left us here in this world, for the other world. Eternally loved – Always missed. Photo from February 2019, the first one I took with this cellphone. And the grave from today. I love you Mika. See you again when my time comes. Take care in between, our little angel!
We had the third meeting with a group of parents loosing their kids today. We debriefed moments of death and funeral. Tough. Painful. Exhaustive. Necessary. Life goes on.
Many years ago we bought a second hand bunk bed with built in desk. Many things have been created there during the years from Nadine and Mika. And many nights of sleep spent by Nadine. But now, it’s history. It’s going to be replaced with a new bed and a separate desk. It was very hurtful to take it apart IKEA style, and give it to the buyers/new owners. A part of the painful process to phase out all stuffs related to Mika.
One installation of Norrköping Light Festival captured by Karin, when out on a short walk. Feeling much sadness. TV day.
Began this morning with listening to the first album of 2020 – with Laleh: “Postcards”. Mika had his favourite song, with Laleh – “Bara få va mig själv”. So, a good way to start my musical year!
Mika’s place was visited by some friends this xmas. Hanna with family, giving a dog. And Pia with family, coming with a small xmas tree. Thank you!
Mika The Bear Hero. And Mika The Angel is in The Otherworld Hope to see you some night in my dreams! Why not tonight?