To do’s to keep you going | #MikaTheHero #GriefWeek2 #KEEPKEEPKEEP

Night time here. After a day with stuff happening, the darkness and emptiness is like mental terror. Coping, coping, coping!

Phonecalls. The child psychologist. Memorial Service and Funeral related stuff. Library to turn back his last loan and tell what happened to two of the key personell there at the desk. A state of shock, transferred every time. One other at our local grocery store talking about it. THE THING THAT SHOULD NOT HAPPEN!

We went to the Worker’s Museum, meeting a close friend who will take a central part of the musical part of the ceremony who were with her family in the Creative Workshop for kids, picking up the last making of Mika. Synch. Deep. Long. Hug! Coming home, talking to the counselor at the hospital on the phone.

Dinner. First one Karin did alone beyond.

And talking to the priest in the night leading the ceremony. Meeting Saturday.

Outbursts of screaming pain, Anxiety at highest level.

What to do? I took a run to the outdoor gym in the Vrinnevi Forest. Anxiety level dropped after a firsties session there. Think it will be a place to get out all anger, sorrow and frustration.

Right now, Karin and I have no clue how to fix this. The Mussing had catched up on us like crazy. At day it is like one day at a time, but in the night, in bed, without his warming comfort, it strikes us again. Then, one breath at a time.

Hold on. Hold tight! Keep strong!

Sleep, come! Sleep, come!

One Comment

  1. Anders, my friend, it is still so soon and raw. I suspect pain and numbness will alternate in waves for some time to come. Please don’t lose heart. Lean on each other, lean on your friends, navigate this terrible journey. It will take all your strength and heart, and it won’t get better, but it will get different. Just as life with Mika wasn’t just life + Mika but a life transformed, just so is your life being transformed again. Pain and loss are inevitable, but you have agency over the shape and trajectory of the journey. I have no right to say, Embrace the journey, but it’s all I can say. Love each other and strengthen each other as you go.

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